Searching for Bette Porter...

I had a yogurt date with the lesbian today, I was a bit late because I got stuck at the bank with my favorite new personal banker- she is all over the place, really professional but really sprung over her man (she should be he is fine and he bought her a car). She managed to open my account, tutor me on photobucket and explain the finer points of her church by bringing up their website all in the course of an hour. It was a crazy wild ride and I loved it- it is good to know there are other people out there that move 3,000 miles a minute.

One of my favorite things about San Diego I have noticed is that when people come to pick you up they dont wait in the car, Tracie parks, gets out and comes in to check things out and she what's up- at first i was a little thrown but then i started to really like it- very old school/southern hospitality style. So as i am walking up the lesbian is outside locking up- or at least i thought she was, i couldnt tell if she was coming or going- she had on a great blue & silver top, black skirt and a huge black scarf- and no shoes (sigh)- if there is one thing i just cannot and will not get used to is the walking around with no shoes on. i get it- we have plenty of soap and plenty of water, but why does it even need to come to that, why dont you just wear your flipping shoes- flip flops are so thin they practically dont count so what's up??

The Dopeness...

I am currently head over in heels in love with "The Wackness" sometimes a movie comes along just at the right time and confirms what you already know to be true- but in such a quirky comedic way that you have to appreciate it all over again. It sounds heavy but i feel like i am on the verge of great things- maybe because i am coming out of the fog of a very very very bad year and i am all the better for it or maybe i am just overly optimistic- either way, i have all that i ever wanted right now in my life and i am eternally grateful and happy for it.

I talked to my brother Capone on Saturday- i called him tipsy regaling him with stories of the crazy lesbians, crunchy granola landlord and random rants of what is going on with me- as usual i managed to overshare with him, something i should learn not to do considering he is #1 supreme hater- so i tell him about my ingenous plan to be a private detective with a friend and bust out cheating men- he tears the idea to shreds, usually that would send me running for the heels but the new and improved cec wasn't fazed- i know it is a good idea and i know i would be great at it- there are certain inherent skills we all have- i am the connector and the fixer, sort of like a more refined captain save a hoe, i can help women in ways that only women can- we are all sisters in the fight against busted men- but the truth is, in most cases women still stay when there are fidelity issues for various issues, but it feels better to know the truth- information is power...

Bank of Anti America...

I don't even know where to begin- but the short version is Bank of America is holding my money hostage! Saturday I deposited a bank check from my employer into the ATM- fully expecting that there would be a 1 or 2 day delay while they processed the check- ur, um it is day 5- why is my balance reading as $0? I am sure you are thinking- surely cec you should have other monies in that account- and i did- or do, but i had several big ticket items to buy like my "sexy" new blue velveteen couch and i also brought her cousins home- 2 lounge chairs for a little menage a trois. In the midst of my shopping euphoria why was my card declined? Not to sound uppity but I just dont get declined in the store- not because i have so much money but because i know my balances like i know my name, license number and ssn- those numbers just stick in my head even when i dont want them to be there- so imagine my shock when it happens- bastards!

Leaving the Land of Lincoln Behind

So I spent 4.5 hours yesterday with Darby for DMV stuff in an effort to become legit and register my car in California. The nightmare began when I called myself being thrifty and not renewing my license plate registration in Chicago- it expired at the end of March and I was leaving at that time so I figured- what is the harm? Well, little did I know- the San Diego coppers would not be too kind to an expired license plate- I got a ticket for that 3 days after my first ticket for not cramping my wheel on the hill. Um hello? Clearly I have Land of Lincoln plates- it is flat, no random hills or inclines to cramp and use parking brake- this is rubbish! I decided to take one for the team and pay for the expired license but plead ignorance on the parking on the hill- I am sorry, I have been driving for 16 yrs on flat surfaces- things like right of way and yielding 200 ft from railroad crosswalk just dont have space in my memory bank...

This was actually a two part dealy- first I went to the DMV two months ago to request the registration, I paid a whopping $129 to receive temporary registration but since I didn't get a smog test I was given 60 days to have the test completed. I am still not 100% sure what the smog test does but I would imagine they want to make sure Darby is an active contributor to making the earth green and not blue/black. I checked online and there were plenty of "Smog Test Only" facilities to choose from, on a whim after reading one helpful Yelp review I called downtown and the guy was so friendly and encouraging on the phone I had to come down. He explained for the year, make and model of my car it would only take 15 minutes and would cost $50- compared to the $160 charge at the dearlership this was the golden ticket!